Jun 2, 2022 4 min read

FTT: Extroversion, Storytelling & Plan B

Happy Free Thoughts Thursday, people.

Last week I asked you all:

What is one simple truth that you live by?

Here are some of your answers:

Don’t take life so seriously. It’s not like you are getting out alive :)
Not saying situations can’t be serious, but more so don’t let the little things get to you and weigh you down. Do want you want to do, and do what makes you happy.

—Garrett G., Dallas, TX

Treat others with compassion. You never know what they may be going through.

—Scott H., Cincinnati, OH

"To Thine Own Self Be True."—Hamlet

—Javier T., Dallas, TX

Life is about progress not perfection!

—Matt B., Cincinnati, OH

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves.”—Thomas Edison
I read this on the cover of a journal in a store when I was like 10 and repeated it in my head a million times until I got home and wrote it down on a piece of paper and taped it to my wall. It has continued to be a theme in my life ever since then.
You. Are. Capable. Of anything! Regardless of your social or economic status. You GET TO decide who you want to be.
Passion alone can travel a long way, but when passion is paired with a relentless work ethic, drive, and intrinsic motivation, it can’t be stopped.
You get to decide when to hit the gas.

—Shelby E., Newport, KY

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

—John C., Cincinnati, OH

Mine is:

Your life should be lived by design, not by default. (h/t Chris Williamson)

Thank you to everyone who responded.

3 Things I’ve Learned:

On average, extroverts are happier than introverts.

This is because they tend to have higher quality social relationships and are better able to regulate their emotions—two factors that are significantly associated with happiness.

The good news is that even small changes in the quality of social relationships or the ability to regulate emotions significantly increased happiness in introverts.

If you're an introvert struggling to find happiness, it may be worthwhile to invest in those two things.

Credit

2. Stories help us form relationships.

Knowing where someone comes from, what they do and who you might know in common (i.e. their "story") allows us to quickly develop relationships with strangers.

In addition, stories with a dramatic arc illicit the release of oxytocin in our brains which makes us more trustworthy, generous, charitable, compassionate and sensitive to social cues.

There's a reason more than half of the movies that have come out of Hollywood follow a "hero's journey."

Stories teach us valuable information about others as well as lessons that we can apply to our own lives.

Credit

3. Backup plans are overrated.

Research from UPenn found that thinking about a backup plan decreases your likelihood of accomplishing your primary goal.

For example, if you want to start a business you will be less likely to succeed if you think about what you will do if that business fails.

The more specific your backup plan the more potent this effect becomes.

This is because knowing that you have a safety net—a plan B—decreases your motivation to succeed at your plan A.

This idea is pretty intuitive but many of us formulate backup plans to ease our feelings of uncertainty in the short term.

I wouldn't go so far as to discourage backup plans altogether.

But if you do make one... maybe just keep it vague.

Credit

2 Questions for You:

Why did you decide to do what you are doing in your life right now?
How well do you handle criticism?

1 Quote:

“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think."—Tim Ferriss

I was unproductive this May. Yes, basically for the whole month.

But this past week I've gotten back on top of things and it's such a good feeling.

Here's a quick note that helped me get back on track:

"If you're just starting, or if you've fallen off and need to get back on, focus primarily on building momentum. Every day you commit to what you need to, even if there's resistance, makes committing the next day easier. Discipline will get you started, but momentum will carry you forward."—Justin C. Scott

This helped because it reminded me that I don't have to make up for the entire month of May in one day.

When I fall off or go through a rough patch one of the reasons it's hard for me to get started again is because I think about how much work I could have done during that time and then I feel so overwhelmed by everything I should do that I don't do anything at all.

But the truth is I just have to commit to doing one thing at a time—preferably something small—to build momentum and continue moving forward.

The key is getting past that initial friction between doing nothing and doing something.

The hardest part is always getting started.

(Sticking with it is no cake walk either, as outlined above, but sticking with it is ultimately just lots of individual choices to get started each day.)